EXCERPT FROM LIFE LESSONS "FOR LOVING THE LIFE YOU LIVE"

Life Lessons for Loving the Way You Live
7 Essential Ingredients for Finding Balance and Serenity

"Life Lesson #5
BE PRESENT

I was going through one of the darkest periods of my life. The man I thought I was going to marry --my soul mate--had just ended our relationship. To make matters worse, I worked for him. Since his office was separated from the rest of us by a wall with a huge window, there was no escaping his expressions and body language that told me whenever he was on the phone with another woman.

I was devastated. I could hardly breathe at moments, my heart felt so crushed. I implored him to let me take my office computer home to work, so I wouldn't be faced with the pain of seeing him every day. He agreed, and the change of venue definitely helped.

But what helped me the most was the advice that my friend gave me. First, if I was ever going to survive, the most important thing was to go to bed every night before 10:00. I knew from my study of health that every hour of sleep we get before midnight is worth two hours after that time. I also knew that staying rested is by far the most effective way to deal with stress. Anyone who's ever gotten up in the morning without having enough sleep knows how hard life can be when we're tired. When challenges are accompanied by fatigue, we can feel hopeless.

The second thing I needed to do was to focus on the things I had to be grateful for. Every night before falling asleep, I started writing down at least five good things that had happened to me that day. The principle is simple: when we focus on darkness, we usually allow ourselves to be taken deeper and deeper into darkness. When we focus on light -- all that's good in our lives -- we attract more and more light.

It is a powerful truth: Whatever you put your attention on grows stronger in your life. It's no surprise that when we focus on the negative, that's all we can see. How often have you had ten great things happen to you in your day, but when a friend asks you how it's going, you immediately tell her about the one thing that didn't go so well? As someone once said, "The more you believe something matters, the more solid and tangible it becomes." Sometimes we get so involved thinking about the past or the future that we simply forget what's going on right in front of us. At times like these, I find it valuable to remember the advice of my friend Stacy, whose life was turned upside down when her husband left her with three sons. She couldn't figure out what was going to happen down the road, but she knew her children would be home from school for lunch. So she put a sign on her refrigerator that said, "Just make lunch." She calls it training for living in the moment and adds, "There's no knowing what the crystal ball holds, but every outcome starts with "making lunch." . . . ©2007. Jennifer Read Hawthorne. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Life Lessons for Loving the Way You Live: 7 Essential Ingredients for Finding Balance and Serenity by Jennifer Read Hawthorne, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.